I am a bad mother?

Scenario A
"I go to drop my son of at school one morning.  Got to the gate and the gate man looks at me in confusion "madam,u forget say today na mid-term break?" I look at him in shock, then anger,then shame. I had not checked my son's school bag in some days now because the past week has been brutal at work and I get home late,tired and barely able to stand on my feet. I grab his bag and look inside and funny enough, there was a circular in it dated 3 days ago,informing parents of the 2 day mid-term break. Now am really confused and really almost late got work. I hadn't made arrangements for where he will stay for mid-term! I am getting really agitated now. I call my neighbour whose kids go to the same school and thankfully, they are home with their nanny. I ask that I come drop off my son. She is happy to help. I zoom around and drive back home. As i drop him off, my neighbour asks "but how didn't you know about the mid-term? I know you work but you should know these things na". She makes me feel 100 times worse! As I drive to the office,all I could think of is "what kind of mother doesn't know when her son's school is on break?  Oh Lord,am I that horrible kind of mother i read about in the news??? Tears blur my vision and messes up my makeup as i drive to work"

This is a para-phrased real life story a friend told me. She,like so many mothers out there, have doubts occasionally about their parenting skills. They sometimes feel like failures in the business of Parenting.

Scenario B
You were raised 'old school style' - flogged when you mess up. You adopt that method with your kids because, well, you turned out fine (after all said and done ). Other women criticise you. "That's not parenting.  That's child abuse", they say. "How can you still be using cane in this 21st century?"
You are confused. "So how do I correct my child when he is naughty? ", you ask. "Speak to him. Make him see reasons. Give him a time-out. Deny him some things he likes. "
OK.  Sounds good
You try it. It's not working. You son is getting naughtier and naughtier. Oh God! What do I do? What am I not doing correctly? Am definitely a bad mother! If not,why is this generally acclaimed method not working for me???

Scenario C
My son is playing in the house. Running and jumping all around. I shout and shout. "Don't climb that chair", "stop running in house", "the sitting room isn't a football field" but I could as well be talking in my sleep for all the good that did me!
I was making dinner in the kitchen when I heard him scream. I rush to his room and see him holding his head. He had hit his head on the edge of the door as he was running! I saw blood. My heart froze. I started panicking. I cleaned the wound. It wasn't much but it was beginning to swell up. I brought ice and tried to dab it. He was screaming.  So I put on my slippers and rushed him to the hospital. By the time we got there, his forehead had swollen like he had an apple embedded in it! I couldn't believe my eyes at how rapid that thing grew. Check out looks from other mums at the hospital reception! They were looking at me with contempt. Like I was a ruly child that should be flogged. One actually walked up to me to ask what happened. I told her and she said "ah ah, which kain dinner where you making that you didn't know exactly what your son was doing? Thank God it's just a cut oo.  You should pay more attention to him next time". I felt like slapping her! Like seriously! A 4 year old boy? Should I tie his legs with a rope? Abi I should be following him bumper to bumper???? Is that what being a mum is about? So people in the house shouldn't eat because we have a toddler???

Motherhood is hard! Yes, it's really hard! I, for one don't think there is a road map to this business. These our precious children didn't come with a manual. We haven't been parents before we became parents. It's a sort of "learning on the job" situation.  Funny thing is, you don't  get to know how well or how badly you did until years later when the kids are grown.

Some people claim to know how to parent fantastically. They make every other person seem like a failure. They are quick to tell you you are doing it wrong. They are quick to criticise you. You look at these people and wonder "chei,  can I measure up"? But sometimes, these people know in their hearts they they are also just groping in the dark!

I tell people, you just go ahead and do the best you can for your kids. Don't look at that other family. The tactics to fighting a battle may differ, though all moving towards the aim of winning the war. You must not have the same tactics as the other person. But that doesn't mean you aren't doing the right thing and what's best for your kids.

A lot of people will criticise the woman in scenario A above. "How didn't she know about the mid-term? Some women sef! What kind of tiredness will make her not check her son's school bag............." Today, i want to tell you DONT BE SO IN A HURRY TO JUDGE ANOTHER WOMAN. Many women with demanding jobs actually do this same thing. May not be right, but its what it is. Nobody is perfect. We learn as we go on. Now this has happened to this woman, am sure she will try and do better. We are all learners in this business so let's learn to cut each other some slack.

We need wisdom from above to excel in parenting.

Shout out to all mothers trying their best to do right by their kids. God bless you all and may you reap the fruit of your labors. May God grant us all wisdom to raise our precious ones the right way so we, our family and our society are better for it in future. Amen!